Insane. Today was totally insane in so many ways. Good ways, though, I hope. Have you ever heard the phrase, ‘do one thing every day that scares you’? Yeah. That would be hard, but I was pretty scared this morning. Even though there was really no reason now that I look back…

Which reminds me of a thought I had a while ago. My mind works completely different at night, you have to understand that. So one night I was lying in bed, my parents were asleep (or so I thought) and it was about one in the morning. My door was closed, and all of a sudden I heard footsteps in the hall. Now, normally I wouldn’t have been phased, but since I was half asleep, the only logical explanation my mind could seem to find was that there was someone in the house. So I did what comes naturally when I’m so, so afraid: prayed. But, I found the next morning that the footsteps were just my mom checking on the spaghetti sauce she was cooking over night. Yeah, she checked it at one in the morning. So here I am, ‘God, protect me, protect my family,’ and it was just my mom. What’s God thinking as I pray this?? ‘It’s just your mom checking some sauce so take a pill, Colette.’ I wonder about myself sometimes.

I’ve come to some conclusions about general things in my life. Some of them I like, some of them I don’t, but now I know just a few the things I have to accept. Don’t want to write them down though.

Kim said I was insightful tonight. I almost died of happiness!

Today is the day I’m going to start cleaning things up and getting ready for the beginning of school. I have to find out which notes from last year I should look over. French for sure, maybe bio, probably not social. I’ve got to scan a few pictures, do some website maintenance, send an invoice, clean my room, organize my desk/closet, make covers for my binders and stock them with paper. Just a bunch of little things that I have to get done.

I know I’ve written this before, but trust me, if I would have written this every time I’ve thought it, it would be here every day this summer: Grade eleven… it’s going to count. This is what I know. This year is going to be extremely hard, and very serious at some times. Not just the classes. I’m not sure why I think this, but I feel that there are going to be issues in some close friendships this year. Similar to but more severe than the ones in grade ten. And I know in these times I’m going to go running to God, and sit there, and cry just like I’ve done before. I know I’m going to cry this year, but someone will always be there.

This year is going to be like every year in that there are going to be teachers that I dislike at first, but gradually warm up to them, get used to them, and eventually regard them as a friend. This has only not happened with two teachers in my entire educational career. And they hated me first. This year is going to be like every year in that there are going to be teachers that I would go to the ends of the earth to please, because they won my respect quickly, which frankly, isn’t hard.

Grade eleven is going to be the beginning of the shaping of the personality I’ll have for the rest of my life; therefore, I’m going to try my very hardest each day to put forth my best. To learn all I can, to become insightful, to pay attention, to be polite, and most of all, to love people with all of my heart. Already I have been given the role of ‘listener’ in many relationships. It honors me to no extent to have someone tell me that they can tell me anything. Someday when I’m wiser, perhaps I’ll be granted both the roles ‘listener’ and ‘advisor’, but for now, I am very content with what I have.

I want to work on my communication skills this year, which means talking slowly enough to think about what I’m saying, to not get excited or flustered, to be articulate and expand on vocabulary, and to avidly avoid interrupting others.

So I said this year is going to be hard, and maybe it will be. But the people who come out of this year by my side, our relationships will be all that much stronger. My friends, my role models, you mean so much to me.

I went to the school again today with Andrea and Jenn. When I went on Monday there were no teachers there yet but today there were, so I got to say hi to some of them. I’m aware that this is a pretty unoriginal and obvious thing to say, but I never realized how much I liked my teachers last year until just now, when I don’t have them anymore. Hopefully I’ll mesh well with my teachers this year too.

It’s kind of strange, but I saw my second cousins, who live in Calgary, for the third time in my life tonight. First time in ten years. I don’t know why we never see them, because we see Julie’s family at least five times each year. And it sucks that I hardly know them, because just from being with them for one night, I can tell they’re all really awesome.

Colette: Kristi. You need help.
Kristi: I know-ho-ho!!

My great aunt Grace is coming to stay with us today. I’ve never met her before, and I’m not exactly sure what to expect, so I guess we’ll see.

(8:07 PM) Aunt Grace reminds me slightly of aunt Mim. I guess they’re sisters but Grace seems more… I don’t know, modern? I’m pretty sure she’s significantly younger than Mim—ten, eleven years maybe, and it shows. They’re both really nice, though.

Well… I didn’t get Miss Tworek for Chem but I guess that’s how it was supposed to be. Other than that, I’m happy with my schedule. Perfect option/core balance, which I know I am lucky for.

(9:40 PM) We went out for dinner tonight with Janet, it was so fun! My brother, I can’t remember exactly what he said to me, but he thinks she’s funny, too.

You know, I think I went through a sort of… ‘insightful period’ around the beginning, middle of June. Of all the things I want myself to become, being insightful is very high up on the list.

Corene and Dan’s wedding was so beautiful! Chloe was the flower girl and so, so incredibly cute. I sat beside Andrea and Kristen in the ceremony. After church we went to Ricky’s for food and then to Graeme’s house. He has a cute kitty that looks kind of like Mrs. McRae’s cats.

Yesterday we went to Loeppkeys’ acreage to see their three-week-old litter of tabby kittens. So cute!! They’re not ready to be weaned yet, though, so accidentally stealing one or two wouldn’t have accomplished much. Nope. But, they’ll be ready to leave their mother on my birthday. I kid you not. (Mom. Please. Foreshadowing. Birthday present. Hint, hint. Smile.) Ooh, Kristen hired me to do the P.I.T.A. site! That means that she’s my boss, and this is beside the point, but I guess Andrea was, too. Anyway, I thought that was pretty awesome. She came to my place today and we worked for about three minutes and then we got the super kickin’ idea to call Janet and Sandy but they weren’t home so we played Nintendo and then called again. It was great.

“Sorry to be rude, but give me one reason not to smack you.” —Nell

Arg. Feel crappy. Anyway, I went to the church this afternoon and helped pack up and organize the day camp stuff. And… for once I don’t have much to write, so… stay tuned. (Okay, can you tell I spent a week with Angela recently? Mmm-hmm!)

“Deanie like, Deanie LIKE!” —Dean

(7:01 PM) I’ll be picking up my schedule in a few days, and ideally this is what I want it to look like: Semester one: Art (Teacher: Korns. Class: Andrea and Selby and Amy), English (Teacher: Neufeld. Although I don’t know if he teaches 20AP. Class: Janice, Mark and everyone from last year’s class), Math (Teacher: don’t care. Class: Mark, Alex and whoever else is taking PMAT20.), Chem (Teacher: Miss Tworek! Class: Sarah, Alex, Janice and Erin) Semester two: Bio (Teacher: don’t care. Class: whoever is taking bio!), French (Teacher: Mme. Wowkodaw. Class: Aman, Meagan, Alli, Erika and Kendell), Social (Teacher: Okay, now that I’ve gotten used to him I wouldn’t mind getting O’Brien again. Class: Lisa and Kim (although I don’t know if she’s doing the half-year social again), Computer Applications (Teacher: don’t care. Class: Aman and Charlie and Francis!) So that’s what I want… but isn’t necessarily best for me…

Pray for me. Please. For obedience. There are things I have to do that I don’t want to… but should. So yeah. In other news, Kim’s having a barbecue at 6:00 which is exciting and I can’t wait ’cause barbecues are cool.

(10:47 PM) That was great, I haven’t seen those guys for a long time which is odd because they’re like… my closest friends. But everyone’s busy or working (or both, incidentally… shut up!) so we don’t see one another enough. I’m going to Kim’s to watch Lord of the Rings sometime soon.

Aman and Janice can drive. Clear the road!